DAPITAN, Philippines – Struggling to live normally in a society that largely sees them as a liability, Ian Porlas and Mary Jane Abubutal, both deaf and nonverbal, exchanged vows in a silent but solemn wedding ceremony at Saint James the Greater Church in Dapitan City that was more felt than heard.
Sign language-proficient Father Khim Caermare, who officiated the wedding, said the ceremony, held Saturday, February 8, was the first of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Dipolog’s Deaf Ministry, which he started seven years ago.
The Diocese of Dipolog’s ecclesiastical jurisdiction covers the entire Zamboanga del Norte, including Dapitan.
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The wedding was made possible because of the collaboration of the bride and groom’s families, friends, teachers, benefactors, and the deaf ministry. A friend donated flowers, others shouldered the food and wedding cake, a deaf photographer documented it for free, while some lent gowns and barongs.
“And that’s how we want our community to become, to be able to reverse our society’s belittling stereotype against the deaf and make them the attraction or magnet of the goodness and kindness of their fellow human beings,” Father Caermare told Rappler on Monday, February 11.
Dipolog Diocese’s ecclesiastical jurisdiction covers the entire Zamboanga del Norte province.
Caermare, who officiated the first known “silent wedding” in the province, started the ministry on February 4, 2018, with eight members. Now, they have swelled to 80 deaf members from throughout the province.
Caermare said he first learned sign language in 2016 during his seminary regency with the deaf community in Bacolod City. He later pursued a Bachelor of Sign Language Interpretation at De La Salle-College of Saint Benilde.
The priest stressed that the deaf oftentimes feel “inferior” or “feel that they don’t belong” because, at least in Zamboanga del Norte, they are seen as a liability by many people.
“Nobody would like to invest in their employment, our government has no systematic and sustainable program for them, and even our schools only offer them elementary education. Thus, they usually end up in the laundry, laborers, and doing other menial jobs,” he said.
Besides, he said, the deaf are not spared from criminality. The Philippine Deaf Resource Center (PDRC), a non-governmental organization, has estimated that one out of three deaf women is raped and 65-70% of deaf girls are molested.
“There is really a need to reach out to them,” Caermare said, adding that while the deaf ministry involves accompaniment, values formation, gospel interpretation, and catechism to the deaf, the entire community is needed to provide them with more important means of livelihood.
The priest said many people need to acknowledge that “being deaf is not a defect nor a liability; they are just differently abled. If we deeply know them, they also have gifts – they are good in painting, photography, carpentry, baking, sculpting,” the priest said. “All we have to do is to see, welcome, and help nurture their gifts.”
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Father Caermare added that in a heavily judgmental culture, the deaf are often looked down upon and ridiculed because many wrongly see them as “not normal.”
He said expecting the deaf to do what most people normally do wouldn’t help either because they have their own “unique culture” that need to be understood and respected.
“Perhaps in their world, God is also talking to them in sign language; maybe God to them is also deaf. So, it is nice if we all learn their sign language so we can effectively communicate with them and maybe learn from them,” Caermare said.
Only then, the priest stressed, can people achieve “synodality,” a concept of the Church that emphasizes walking together, listening, and making decisions collaboratively as a community. – Rappler.com